The following days and weeks…
I still feel the anger inside me today, simmering away, like a deep pit in my stomach even though it is now nearly two years ago.
Anger was the biggest emotion – I felt it stronger and harder than I thought it was ever possible. But wasn’t I sad? Yes, of course. But I felt robbed most of all, like someone had stolen from me.
Angry, bitter and sad. I cried for weeks on and off, curling up in a ball, grieving for my baby. I felt different, a little lost and everything else seemed so unimportant. The pain I was feeling was real and true – I held onto this feeling as a connection to my lost baby.
I can’t really say how I started to pick myself up again. My husband was amazing. He listed to me over and over again, repeating the same feelings and the tears. My parents said kind words and looked to the future but there was no way they could understand.